Football: RANDOM NFL THOUGHTS

RANDOM NFL THOUGHTS
by Justin Henry

Barreling into the trade deadline with some acerbic snacks

* I guess I better get it off my chest and talk about Philadelphia's performance yesterday. So here goes....I think the Phillies did an unbelievable job of getting to Kuroda early, hitting well in the cold, and pitching down on a tremendous hitting team in the Dodgers. I mean, c'mon, hanging only three hits on the NL West champions is...what? Oh, the Eagles? Good God man, how can I talk about Andy Reid's inability to reprogram the offensive line when baseball's World Ph'N Champions are striving to defend their crown?! Do you really want me to discuss Reid's tendency to overload on the pass when the run is working all too well, Jeremiah Trotter being unable to catch second-tier running backs, and Reid burning timeouts at bizarre times? Well, guess what, buddy? You better look elsewhere, because this is a HAPPY column! By "happy", I mean I always talk good about my teams. Unless you can find a subliminal message somewhere.

* REally now, I Don't thInk Some bAd game like that should waFfle Us any. Can't we Keep the faIth goiNG? MORe than yOu thiNk, yes.

* Memo to Steve Hauschka: if you miss a kick indoors at that distance, regardless of the situation, then you're not even good enough for the AFL. Quarterbacks can blame poor play because of the fact that they're defensed against. You don't even have THAT excuse. I wouldn't be so mad if you weren't on my fantasy team. As Andy Reid would say, "I take full responsibility..."

* Speaking of fantasy, I had Tom Brady and Wes Welker on my fantasy team and didn't start them. Can anyone loan me some cyanide?

* Did anyone else see Eli Manning shove Ahmad Bradshaw? The last time a white boy from an upper class upbringing shoved a convicted felon from behind....well, I can't remember the last time it happened, but it probably didn't end well for whitey. You never see Peyton shove anyone, do you? Probably because of the "no shoving" clause in his various endorsement contracts.

* Speaking of Eli, if that had been any other player other than the media darlings (Favre, Brady, the Mannings, Romo, Sanchez) shoving his teammate like that, it would have dominated SportsCenter. Just saying.

* Drew Brees was a second round pick. Every team had a chance to draft him. It's worth noting.

* Call me crazy, but I get that suspicious feeling that Cleveland is going to do some damage next season. They'll need a better QB to be sure, but they've fought hard against tougher opponents this year. It's that bizarre effect where your roster is littered with no-name talent, but they band together as allies and work hard with no egos in the way. Trading away Edwards and Winslow may seem dumb from people who strictly follow the fantasy game, but when you create open casting for the lead roles on the team, it unleashes a wave of motivation amongst these lower tier guys. Besides, imagine the cap room for next year if they can ship away Brady Quinn's monster deal. If in 2010, Cleveland and Cincinnati take the top two spots while Baltimore and Pittsburgh dredge the ocean floor, don't say I didn't tell you.

* The above paragraph is contingent on Cincinnati not losing their entire comeback spark in yesterday's loss to Houston. Antwan Odom being hurt is that first ominous sign.

* Houston is confusing. They have the most irregular PMS cycle I've seen in a while out of a football team. Yes, I look for PMS cycles in football teams. Please don't judge me. I mean to say that they lose against teams they should crush, and definitively beat the teams they should struggle with. No wonder the NFL never promotes them: they can never be sure of what they're promoting.

* Detroit, welcome back! Where've you been?

* Tampa Bay may be 0-6, but Josh Johnson is the real deal. If he was playing for the Denver Broncos and Josh McDaniels right now, his jersey would be a top seller. Give him a coach who can scheme for a quarterback and design plays to match his style, and we're talking a born superstar. His quick release is so confusing for a defense to key on, and he's willing to step up and be the leader of guys who may not ordinarily listen to a 23 year old, second year nobody. Give him time. Success will follow him. If Raheem Morris turns up missing, the success will come quicker.

* With these 2 wins, John Fox is coming closer to saving his job. That might be funny if it wasn't so sad. So much for the Panthers joining the "Bradford/McCoy/yes, even Tebow" sweepstakes".

* Speaking of Tim Tebow, if he shoved a player, do you think ESPN would interview the shoved player and ask if all of his injuries were healed? I do.

* Todd Haley may be an angry, hotheaded whack job, but now he's an angry, hotheaded whack job with a win. The Chiefs are like a JV team full of good character people. They struggle and they struggle but, damn it, they feel like they can win if they just work hard enough. All they lack is a laid back, feel good coach. Think back to what I said about Cleveland. In 2010, I think Kansas City contends. For the division. Let's not go nuts here and think they'll go deep in the playoffs. Though it IS the NFL....

* If the Redskins fans want a feel good story right now, I wouldn't look past "Zombie Sean Taylor ascends from grave, strangles Daniel Snyder into oblivion". I do like that the players are openly calling Snyder an idiot, namely Carlos Rogers. Reminds me that since no Eagles player has ever trashed Jeffrey Lurie, then we must be okay.

* Merrill Hoge confused Robert Meachem for Marques Colston on SportsCenter today. Nobody corrected him for 45 seconds. That makes me feel all warm inside.

* If Rush Limbaugh did indeed buy the Rams and then traded Kyle Boller, Mike Karney, and Danny Amendola for any black player, would the world blow up? Or would there just be a lot of general confusion?

* The Oakland/Philly game. I'm not going to comment, except to say that for 117 years old, Al Davis looks spiffy.

* Seattle ranks pretty high on the stilted PMS scale as well. They play Houston in Week 14. How in the hell do you create a line for THAT game? Someone oddsmaker in Vegas will die of pulomary edema, I guarantee it. I should create a line for that occurance, what do you think?

* The Jets seem to be on a yo-yo diet right now. I don't know if Rex Ryan has heard of it.

* Ok, ok, Kevin. I'll stop doubting the Falcons. That loss to New England opened my eyes to how they'd struggle with a bad defense at times, despite their weapons. Guess it made me a little skittish. But to blow San Francisco away and then hold off a rested Chicago proves that it was one little dry spell. My perspective has changed, and they may be the best team that nobody talks about. Happy now?

*If Denver wins tonight, then that eerie prediction I made to my brother and mutual friend in April about how "McDaniels' back is to the wall and he'll probably program Orton for greatness, lead Denver to a surprising comeback year, and swipe that division for themselves" comes a bit closer to being true. I still pick San Diego, but still....

* Finally, that debacle in New England. It goes without saying that I've spoken at length about Tennessee and their struggles, but seriously. Kerry Collins completed two passes out of twelve for negative yards. Chris Johnson continues to be the pretty flower growing out of a sewage drain. The defense is in shambles. Rob Bironas never even got in position to ATTEMPT a kick. Forget about the notion of management "asking Jeff Fisher to resign so that they don't have to fire him publicly". Bud Adams may as well burn his contract at a press conference, because there's no way that Fisher comes back, unless they go ten and six. Good luck getting Vegas to post odds on that one.

When he isn’t watching WWE, TNA, or his beloved Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies, Justin Henry can be found writing. It is his passion as well as his goal in life to become a well-regarded columnist or author. He tweets at http://twitter.com/mindofjrhsports and facebooks himself at http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh