Football: WEEK 4 2009 PICKS

WEEK 4 2009 NFL PICKS
by Justin Henry

With the Eagles off, there's really only one choice for quality entertainment. That is, of course, the Jets-Saints showdown. I say this because I'm not getting Gus Johnson's game (Oakland/Houston) so I guess I'm forced to settle for two 3-0 clubs swinging their dukes.

Speaking of swinging dukes, did you know there's more to winning a UFC fight than just punching? Kimbo Slice didn't! Good luck on the fringe circuit, Mr. Slice.

This week's theme: Pulp Fiction. It's been fifteen years since Quentin Tarantino released his magnum opus, and what better way to honor the occasion by drawing parallels to early October football games?

So let's kick it off

LAST WEEK: 12-4

Detroit at Chicago
"Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved." - Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson)
O Lord, the Lions have risen! Unfortunately, they have to walk across the water of Lake Michigan and into a firing Jay Cutler. Hope they enjoyed the taste of victory while it lasted.
MY PICK: Chicago 27, Detroit 13

Cincinnati at Cleveland
"All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!" - Pumpkin (Tim Roth)
How else do you characterize Eric Mangini fining a player $1700 for a $3 bottle of water? I hope somebody gets tackled into that fat miser. Do I sound bitter?
MY PICK: Cincinnati 30, Cleveland 7

Oakland at Houston
“If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.” – Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson)
I wish I could use this one for Carolina regarding the non-stop train of Delhomme-suck, but it applies just as well for the continuation of JaMarcus Russell as the signal caller. As long as Slaton can poke holes into the D, Schaub should be able to do the rest.
MY PICK: Houston 24, Oakland 7

Seattle at Indianapolis
"Now, you've got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.” – Winston Wolf (Harvey Keitel)
Peyton Manning truly is the Wolf of the NFL, who can calmly solve any problem you set in front of him. Seattle’s got a young, cagey defense? Yawn.
MY PICK: Indianapolis 31, Seattle 14

Tennessee at Jacksonville
“Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.” – Jimmie (Quentin Tarantino)
Remember when Tennessee was the gun-running, offense-killing machine? Remember when Jacksonville was the good team that nobody considered? Well, they’re both in the crapper. And somebody’s gotta win.
MY PICK: Tennessee 17, Jacksonville 14

New York Giants at Kansas City
“If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top.” – Winston Wolf (Harvey Keitel)
The Giants are still the Giants. Other than being down their star receiver from a year ago, they’re the same machine who wins tough games and crushes the teams that they’re supposed to crush. Regaining Umenyiora helps the defense that was great even without him last season. That beating the Eagles put on Kansas City? Here comes the sequel.
MY PICK: New York 38, Kansas City 10

Baltimore at New England
“So what does it feel like to kill a man with your bare hands? It's a topic I'm very interested in.” – Esmerelda (Angela Jones)
Not the best quote when pertaining to Ray Lewis, but the point is there. Baltimore’s defense has been a force since I was in junior high (ten years? WOW!), but Tom Brady knows them. With New England’s struggle to get back to normalcy, I say they pull out all the stops and eke one out at home.
MY PICK: New England 27, Baltimore 24

Tampa Bay at Washington
“Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.” – Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis)
Zed is Jim Zorn in this instance. Zorn was so animated on the sidelines, getting up in arms over every fumble, bumble, bungle, and act of ineptitude that his Redskins committed, one has to wonder he’s why so surprised. He’s the one who thinks Jason Campbell’s a good leader. But as bad as “Zed” is, the opposition? They’re actually WORSE! Zorn doesn’t have a job at the end of the year. I think Raheem Morris gets a pink slip too.
MY PICK: Washington 20, Tampa Bay 7

Buffalo at Miami
“We're lucky we got anything at all. I don't think Buddy Holly's much of a waiter.” – Vincent Vega (John Travolta)
Miami’s down Chad Pennington for the season, and it’s up to Tony Sparano to decide between Henne and Thigpen to try and topple Buffalo’s overrated defense. Answer: let Ronnie Brown work the magic he had last season. I doubt Buffalo can stop it.
MY PICK: Miami 21, Buffalo 13

New York Jets at New Orleans
"That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten." - Winston Wolf (Harvey Keitel)
Two teams who are reliable in the impossible: the unbreakable offense at home against the claustrophobia-inducing defense. It's a veritable pick em, but I'm going with defense. Rex Ryan will make the clock work for him, making the Saints score quickly, just so their tired defense has to get back out on the field and take more damage from Sanchez and the one-two run game. It'll be more than a touchdown, mark my words.
MY PICK: New York 28, New Orleans 17

Dallas at Denver
“That's how you're gonna beat 'em, Butch. They keep underestimating you.” – Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis)
Upset time! Denver coach Josh McDaniels is still viewed as a dumb kid who’s only 3-0 on luck. But I think he proves the world wrong yet again when he runs all over a shaky defense. Besides, he can let Brian Dawkins read Dallas’ offense. He’s done it before.
MY PICK: Denver 20, Dallas 17

St. Louis at San Francisco
You know, walk the earth, meet people... get into adventures. Like Caine from "Kung Fu." – Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson)
It fits Coach Singletary, since he’s Samurai Mike and all. The Rams may need to walk the earth themselves to shake off the beating coming from a team that lost at the last second to Minnesota. Revenge games are fun.
MY PICK: San Francisco 20, St. Louis 3

San Diego at Pittsburgh
I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good. - Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman)
Pittsburgh's got high expectations after winning the Super Bowl, but they're sputtering out. The injury to Polamalu has revealed some glaring issues with the D, especially one that couldn't compensate for offensive woes. I think they take this one, though, because Tomlin's got to be putting the screws to them. 1-3 after a title run is never promising. So they step it up, even against Philip Rivers' hot hand.
MY PICK: Pittsburgh 21, San Diego 20

Green Bay at Minnesota
“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and have a heart attack.” – Vincent Vega (John Travolta)
Packer Country has waited for this day. It’s not the home game, which I’m sure will be nuclear, but the news of lyin’ Favre signing with the arch nemesis after three or four fibs is enough to drive any Green Bay fan up his cheese wheel. Minnesota gets their first loss when some of Favre’s old defenders decide to work out some revenge fantasies on the man who just won’t die.
MY PICK: Green Bay 23, Minnesota 20

When he isn’t watching WWE, TNA, or his beloved Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies, Justin Henry can be found writing. It is his passion as well as his goal in life to become a well-regarded columnist or author. He tweets at http://twitter.com/mindofjrhsports and facebooks himself at http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh.